Macchiato Monsters: a fucking soulless Dwarf Barbarian

So, with the help of the inimitable http://whothefuckismydndcharacter.com, I’m going to

roll the stats for a fucking soulless Dwarf Barbarian from a slave market who can only whisper after an attempted hanging

STR 8, INT 11, WIS 8, DEX 13, CON 9, CHA 11. I swap STR and DEX, so my stats are:

STR 13, INT 11, WIS 8, DEX 8, CON 9, CHA 11.
Trait: fucking soulless Dwarf Barbarian
HD: 1d6
Armor: 1d6
Weapon: 1d6

I choose Combat Training twice, so my HD is a D10, my armor die is a d10 max and I do 1d10 damage max. For hit points, I roll my d10 and get an 8.

Gear and Gold

I roll the dice and score (sorted in ascending order): 1,1,3,5,6,8,10

I choose my weapons first, using the 10 I rolled: a bill-hook, d8
My backup will by a cudgel d4, bought with one of the 1s I rolled.

I spend the 8 on armor: studded leather with shield, d6 — perfect, that’s how I imagine my barbarian. Begins to look like he’s Mongolian.

Which means I’ll buy him a whip d4, with the 3 I rolled.

I use the 6 I rolled to determine my valuables: funeral urns worth silver d6.

The second 1 and the 5 I use on the equipment and food table:

bread and ham d4, ragged cloth bag, sock filled with pebbles, liver and tomate sausage d4, torches d6, grave robber’s tools d8, iron spikes

And I’m fucking done.

Khadagan of the Stomp Clan

Trait: fucking soulless Dwarf Barbarian
Level 1

STR 13, DEX 8, CON 9
INT 11, WIS 8, CHA 11

HD: 1d10
hp: 8
Armor max: 1d10
Weapon max: 1d10

Weapons:
bill-hook, d8
cudgel d4
whip d4

Armor:
studded leather with shield, d6

Valuables:
funeral urns worth silver d6

Food:
bread and ham d4, liver and tomate sausage d4

Equipment:
ragged cloth bag, sock filled with pebbles, torches d6, grave robber’s tools d8, iron spikes

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